tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6118393680945661388.post5904499500563835676..comments2023-10-18T05:05:50.127-07:00Comments on My English Diary: TOEFL essayEnglish-diaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03132614971566833113noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6118393680945661388.post-25994450007355994142009-09-17T06:15:25.703-07:002009-09-17T06:15:25.703-07:00Thank you for the suggestions!
regarrding your se...Thank you for the suggestions!<br /><br />regarrding your second suggestion: I initially used 'that is'. The teacher's correction came that I can either ommit it or keep it. I think 'which' may also be used here.English-diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03132614971566833113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6118393680945661388.post-11609604071250173412009-09-17T00:17:46.096-07:002009-09-17T00:17:46.096-07:00Hi; splendid piece of writing as always, congratul...Hi; splendid piece of writing as always, congratulation.<br />just some suggestions:<br />1. In old age you will be grateful to your wise parents, who got you...<br />--> I'd write: who have gotten you ...<br /><br />2. When, for instance, we are working out in a gym, jogging, or swimming the level of serotonin in the brain, the substance responsible ...<br />--> I'd write: which is the substa ...<br />(since the clause refers to subject, I don't think you can omit relative pronoun) <br /><br />3. regular exercise not only keeps you healthy, but also ...<br />I'd write: Not only does regular exercise keep you healthy, but also...<br />(just to make it more emphatic)Mahdihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18304145234220884410noreply@blogger.com